Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Alter Ego


          It was at midlife that I came to realize that Viola, my invisible childhood friend was actually my alter ego. Through oil pastels,  I drew upon Viola's invincible energy.  



“Up here!”  Viola called.  She was always taunting Little Elisabeth in a loving way to get her to step out of her fears, to climb higher or run faster or speak louder. 
                Elisabeth’s favorite game was to see if she could be as invisible as Viola.  She would gladly trade places if only she could figure out how to present Viola to her family.  There must be a way Elisabeth thought to herself as she followed Viola’s lead and climbed over the tail gate of Daddy’s big red truck.
                “What was Viola up to now?” Elisabeth wondered.  Viola was always spiriting an adventure.
                Although Little Elisabeth’s fearfulness made Viola a little crazy, she couldn’t stay mad at her long.  Viola knew that she couldn’t exist without Elisabeth so she might as well play by the rules and wrestle the biggest and meanest demons along the way while Elisabeth cowered shamefully. 
                “Fall backwards!”  Viola commanded. “Let’s make angels in the wheat!” 
                Little Elisabeth flopped down upon the mattress of freshly harvested wheat kernels. Her body framed a pillow, a perfect fit for a five year old. She shifted her weight and felt the chain reaction of the kernels, under her toes and between her fingers,  simultaneously coursing around her very ticklish neck.  Elisabeth giggled with contentment knowing once again that Viola could say, “I told you so!” for having a wonderful idea.
                 Elisabeth breathed in the moment, being one with Viola, she exhaled a sense of wonder, marveling at the star filled sky--a giant bowl covering her existence.
                “Do you wonder about the vastness of space?”  Viola nudged Elisabeth from her reverie. 
                Little Elisabeth couldn’t imagine that when middle aged she would be able to Google Planet Earth and swoop into a dot from up above, magnifying its existence to reveal hidden details.  Exposure is what Elisabeth feared most.  She had become comfortable with the transparent nature that she shared with Viola.   It made her nervous though to think of anyone else zooming in to her inner most thoughts, and finding something that had not yet been revealed to her, even though she had experienced it.
                “Someday you will see clearly through the vastness of space and through the course of time!”  Viola reassured Elisabeth, by speaking for The Daimon, whispering into Elisabeth’s ear as they star gazed.

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